Preparing Your Child For Marriage

Preparing Your Child For Marriage

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when

he is old, he will not depart from it.”

Proverbs 22:6

To train means to narrow, conveying the thought of marking a clear path for our children by removing the unnecessary and focusing on that of lasting value - setting Biblical boundaries (Proverbs 13:6). Many parents unwisely encourage their children to experiment with various philosophies of life. We should spend more time teaching our children the truth instead.

Ask God Daily for Wisdom and Strength

• “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God” - James 1:5

• Esther 2:11 - Read Job 1:5 - “Thus did Job continually”

Pray Consistently for Their Future Spouse

• Salvation, purity, protection, maturity, respect for authority, etc.

• Development of Christ-like character - Philippians 2:5

Teach Them Early on God’s Plan for Their Lives

• Own identity - responsibility - “God wants you to get married and raise a godly family of your own someday” - Malachi 2:15; Proverbs 31:1; I Thessalonians 4:1-8

• God’s blueprint for building a strong family is found in His Word - Ephesians 5:18-6:4

Develop in Them a Servants Heart

• Marry for what you can give, not get - dead to self - filled with (controlled by) the Holy Spirit

• Marriage brings many responsibilities - will have to be mature and settle in - “leave and cleave”

• Life-long commitment to God and one another “Till death us do part” - “let not man put asunder” - Matthew 19:6

Uphold the Standard of Purity in the Home

• The parent’s job is to guard the hearts and minds of their children until they are old enough to do it for themselves - “simple concerning evil” - Romans 16:19

• Teach - “greatest gift you can give your spouse is yourself” - pure in heart, mind, and body - do not play the dating game and give your heart and body to many, but rather save it all for that special one

Show Them How to Walk With God

• “You cannot impart what you do not possess” - consecration of life - yielded to God’s will

• Daily prayer and Bible reading - abiding in Christ - heart and mind of discernment

- I John 4:1

• Good steward of time, talent, and treasure - Romans 12:1,2

Remind Them to Wait on God’s Timing

• Right one, right way, right time - no unequal yokes - II Corinthians 6:14

• “If in doubt, don’t” - “Don’t settle for second best”

• Approval of parents with insight and counsel of your pastor

Help Them Plan a Truly Christian Marriage

• Pre-marital counseling - Christ-honoring ceremony - establishment of a Christian home that pleases God in all areas - i.e.. faithful church attendance, family altar, Christian service, financial stewardship, child-rearing, etc.

–Tim Cruse

Understanding Your Child’s Heart

Understanding Your Child’s Heart

“My son, give me thine heart,

and let thine eyes observe my ways.”

Proverbs 23:26

God wants His people to guard (4:23), guide (23:19) and give their hearts. When children give their hearts to their parents, they trust them to protect, provide and prepare them to follow God’s will for their lives.

Understand this about your child’s heart:

• By nature my own heart is sinful and therefore imperfect.

• I need you to hold me accountable and teach me good character by helping

me to think Biblically.

• My view of God and how to trust Him is being shaped by your influence

and example. Teach me how to properly respond to His authority.

• I feel most secure when there is harmony and structure in the home, and

I am allowed to become who God wants me to be.

• I lack discernment and need you to keep me from the appearance of evil

so I will not be weakened to the evil itself.

• Your acceptance and understanding means the world to me even though

we do not always see eye to eye on some things.

• Your unconditional love when I have stumbled teaches me forgiveness

and grace.

• Know that I have problems and do not believe me if I act like I do not

need to talk with you about them.

• Your time is more important to me than your gifts.

• Never give up on me or stop praying for me.

–Tim Cruse

Standing With Your Pastor

Standing With Your Pastor

• Let him know if his preaching is a help to you.  Point out something specific God spoke to you about.

• Assure him of your prayers for him and his family.

• Show open support for projects he has prayed over and believes God wants the church to do.

• Be slow to criticize him.  He will make mistakes.

• Realize that a true Under-shepherd would rather die for the sheep than knowingly hurt them.  Deal with him from this premise.

• Pray for God's hedge of protection around his family.

• Tell him of the blessings of God in your life.  Your faith and victory will strengthen his faith immeasurably.

• Understand that one of the main ways he stays in touch with you personally is around the services of the church.  Many communication issues can be handled after a church service.  If you work in some capacity in the church, be sure to touch base with your Pastor before you leave.

• Receive his admonitions with grace.  The unique responsibilities of a Pastor involve many things in addition to preaching.  Your Pastor's work out of the pulpit consists of many unseen efforts in dealing with individual needs and problems.

• Know that God in His kindness to you has put it in the heart of one of His servants to watch for your soul.  He is one of God's gifts of grace to you intended to bring your family eternal profit by his preaching and teaching, as well as his shepherding.

"Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch

for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy,

and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you."

Hebrews 13:17

–Tim Cruse

Understanding Your Pastor

Understanding Your Pastor

There will be times when:

• You will not understand or agree with a decision he must make.

• He must be willing to be misunderstood or misjudged in your eyes because he cannot divulge certain confidences.  You see the part.  He sees the whole.

• The only thing you have to go on is faith in God and in your Pastor's integrity to do the right thing.  It is a matter of trust.

• Because of providential circumstances, He will not be able to do some things you would expect him to.

• His love for your family should not be put on trial because of perceived oversight on his part in a particular matter.

• His forbearance of you will out-weigh your forbearance of him.

• He will be the first to forgive and the last to be forgiven.

• His family is suffering silently with him in a certain matter while others suffer openly and receive necessary reassurances.

• He will not ask you to sacrifice in a matter that he has not sacrificed in already.

• Your burdens are on his heart while he is riding down the road, awake in the middle of the night, working at his desk, knocking on someone else's door, walking down a hospital stairwell, listening to the choir sing, playing with his children, or at any other place at any other time of any other day.

"And we beseech you, brethren, to know them which labour

among you, and are over you in the Lord, and admonish you:

And to esteem them very highly in love for their work's sake.

And be at peace among yourselves."

I Thessalonians 5:12, 13

–Tim Cruse

A Life That Matters

A Life That Matters

“Therefore their days did he consume in vanity”

Psalm 78:33

We only pass through life but once. Many of us already have a number of miles under our feet. We do not know the measure of our days and surely do not want to waste the ones we have remaining.

Charles Spurgeon said, “None live so fruitlessly and so wretchedly as those who allow sense and sight to override faith, and their reason and appetite to domineer over their fear of God.” Unbelief, pride, and self-will when added together equals emptiness and multiplies sorrow.

“What a nothing is our life” apart from divine grace and purpose. God help us to get a hold of His will and live a life that matters. Every day spent in His service can be filled to overflowing.

“According to my earnest expectation and

my hope, that in nothing I shall be ashamed,

but that with all boldness, as always, so now

also Christ shall be magnified in my body,

whether it be by life, or by death. For to me

to live is Christ, and to die is gain.”

Philippians 1:20, 21

–Tim Cruse

He Is Near

He Is Near

“The Lord is at hand”

Philippians 4:5

There are times in the Christian walk when the Lord seems far away. The dew of His conscious presence no longer saturates the contemplations of our heart. The clouds of unbelief hide the Son from us and we feel all alone.

God, however, clearly tells us in His Word that He is ever present. Because He is at hand we know He is near. He is looking on. He could come at any moment and take us home with Him in heaven.

We also know that He could change our present circumstances if He willed. For them to remain means He has a purpose in our difficulties. There is a greater good to be realized beyond our immediate deliverance.

Perhaps you are expending much energy grappling with why you are facing something today. Know that the Lord is at hand. His hand is not shortened that it cannot save and His ear is not heavy that it cannot hear. Accept where you are and trust God to guide you from here. Let patience have her perfect work.

He is near when He seems so far,

Our blessed Saviour knows where you are.

With nail-pierced hands to hold and to guide,

The tempted and touched will stand by your side.

–Tim Cruse

Related Resource: He is Near framed print for Shining Light Inspirations

Treasures of Truth

Treasures of Truth

“I rejoice at thy word, as one that findeth great spoil”
Psalm 119:162

As the spoils of battle go to the victor, so the treasures of truth go to those who prevail upon the flesh by appropriating the powerful armaments found in God’s book of triumph. Proverbs 6:22,23 speaks of the bounty of hearing God’s Word outwardly and writing it upon the tablets of our hearts inwardly:

“When thou goest, it shall lead thee, when thou sleepest, it shall keep thee; and when thou awakest, it shall talk with thee. For the commandment is a lamp; and the law a light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life:”

Those discovering God’s will for their lives are in His Word daily. Those whose testimonies and opportunities are preserved of God are in His Word daily. Those enjoying communion with God are in His Word daily. The headlights of Bible promises and the guardrails of Bible commandments keep us on the highway of abundant life in Christ (Proverbs 13:6). Declare war upon your fleshly lusts. Get into God’s Word and realize the spoils of the victorious Spirit-filled life!

–Tim Cruse